


PurCan More Than Useless

by SomethingThatsMine



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Canada, Coming Out, Cute, Fluff, France - Freeform, Gay, Germany, High School, M/M, More Than Useless, Prussia - Freeform, PrussiaxCanada - Freeform, PurCan, Singing, Song - Freeform, Spain, Yaoi, talant show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 02:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingThatsMine/pseuds/SomethingThatsMine
Summary: Gilbert is a bad boy, Matthew is the person who can change that. Can Gilbert stop caring about his image long enough to let himself be happy?





	PurCan More Than Useless

The school bell rings signaling that classes were now over. Just like everyone else in the classroom Gilbert jumps out of his seat and races to the door. But unlike everyone else it is not the thought of being out of this hell hole called school that motivates him, instead it is the thought of getting to see his sweet, smart, awesome and adorably shy tutor.

Gilbert rushed down the hallway his heart was beating fast and he smiled once he saw the library doors. He knew that as soon as he pushed those doors open he would get to lay his eyes on the person who had stolen his heart. He reaches out to the door, takes the handle firmly in his hand and forces the smile away from his face. After all he couldn’t risk anyone finding out about his feelings. He pulls the door open and slowly walks in and just like always there was Matthew Williams his tutor the one who had stolen his heart and changed his entire world in just one semester. Gilbert had to tell him self not to run to the boy sitting at the table taking notes and pins out of his backpack and setting them down.

This really wasn’t supposed to happen Gilbert is the bad boy a real tough guy he’s not supposed to fall in love. Especially not with another guy. 

Matthew looks up and gives Gilbert a little smile. Gilbert tries not to smile back but can’t help himself as he sits next to the blonde. 

“Yo Birdie what is up?” Gilbert said giving Matthew that same cocky smile he gives everyone else but somehow it was always different when it was for Mathew .

“Oh u-um n-nothing. How are you Gilbert?” Matthew stuttered out words with a light blush painting his cheeks.

This made Gilbert smile more. He loved it when Matthew would blush and get embarrassed that is why he started calling him Birdie in the first place. Matthew had such a gentle way about him and everything he did seemed so graceful just like a bird. Just like a bird that Gilbert wanted to protect, not keep locked away in any cage but help teach to fly.

“I am awesome! Like always.”

Matthew laughed a little to himself most likely because Gilbert always said he was awesome even if people didn’t ask. “Well that is good let’s get started then.”

About 45 minutes go by with Matthew trying to explain biology to Gilbert. 

“ OK Gilbert so can you tell me what a recessive gene is?”

“It is like the weaker type of gene that doesn’t show physically unless you have two of them right?”

“ Yes that is exactly right! You are going to do really well on your final next week.”

Gilbert looked away embarrassed it always made him smile when Matthew would encourage him like this. All of his teachers just see some stupid good for nothing teenager most of them don’t even try to teach him anymore and instead just pass him so they don’t have to see his face again next year. But with Matthew it isn’t like that at all he sees the good in Gilbert and believes in him and it makes it so Gilbert can believe in himself.

“Uh yeah well thanks I really would have never understood any of this biology stuff if it wasn’t for you.”   
Matthews face turned a bright red and he started to stammer. “ Oh no that’s completely untrue give yourself more credit Gilbert you’re really smart.”

Gilbert laughed. “ You’re so cute Birdie”

Oh shit as soon as those words made their way past Gilbert slips he felt sick. Did he just ruin everything. “Uh I mean don’t get the wrong idea or anything I didn’t mean it like that.”

Before Matthew even had a chance to react to what Gilbert had said. Two familiar and unwanted voices could be heard coming closer. 

“Hey Gilbert still hanging out with the Homo I see. What is he your boyfriend?” A tall boy with spiked blond hair and a blue and white scarf around him says.

“ Come on Tim you know that Gilbert isn’t some gaywad right man. Haha!” The large tan Cuban boy laughed and slapped Gilbert’s back”

Mathew looked to Gilbert half heartedly hoping that the silver haired boy would defend him. Gilbert looked into Mathews eyes and knew just what he should do. He should stand up tell the two guys to fuck off and if they ever even looked a Mathew funny again he would be sure to punch their eyes swollen shut. But that’s not what he did.

Gilbert laughed “Like hell I am just with him because bio is lame and I don’t want to take it again next year.” Gilbert clinched his fists as he saw the embarrassed and ashamed look on Mathews face. He looked like he wanted to cry and said nothing as he packed his bag” 

“Well since this is our last meeting we can end it now. Good luck on your test Gilbert.” Mathew said as he walked away. Carlos and Tim laughed as the blond walked faster.

“Well at lest your done with him now Gilbert just imagine if he started to get a crush on you that’s gross as hell.” Carlos said while Tim nodded in agreement. 

Gilbert ignored the two and walked away. Talking to himself as he left the school. “Good job you dumbass why didn’t I just stand up for him. I guess I am just the same piece of shit I have always been.”

That night Gilbert could not sleep every time he closed his eyes he saw Mathew he saw the pained look in his Birdies eyes. It just was not right all he wants is to be worthy of Mathew and still he fucks up like this. It’s time to be honest.

 

The next morning Gilbert sits in front of his little brother Ludwig and his two best friends Antonio and Francis.

“Mon amie why are we here so early on a Saturday? I almost did not get all of my beauty rest.” Said Francis the blonde with his hair pulled back in a ponytail as he looks into a mirror to be sure that there were no bags under his eyes.

A sleepy Spaniard lets out a yawn. “si mi amigo is everything okay?” 

Ludwig leans forward also listening for a response to Antonio‘s question.   
“Yeah I’m awesome nothing is really wrong it’s just I have something to tell you guys something I need to let you all know because you’re the most important people to me something about myself that kind of scary.”

All three boys lean in closer with worried looks on their faces. Gilbert took a deep breath. What if his friends did not want to hang out with him anymore or what if his brother stopped loving him. What if he lost these people who mean so much to him just for being honest with them and himself.

“I am Gay”

The room was completely quiet. Antonio and Francis fell back off of their chairs laughing. Ludwig relaxed in his seat. And Gilbert looked at them all confused.“What’s so funny.”

Francis looked at Gilbert and smiled. “Mon amie, what were you expecting did you think any of us would stop loving you just because who you are attracted to? And more importantly did you really think we didn’t know?”

Antonio wiped away A tear from his eye still laughing a little. “Si We were worried about you Gilbert who cares if you’re gay everyone in the room is.” 

Gilberts jaw dropped as he looked at his friends and his brother. 

“What!Really!!!!”

Antonio and Francis nodded while Ludwig blushed. “Bruder I thought it was just something that didn’t need to be said.”

“ Are you serious right now apparently even my little bruder has better gaydar than me.” And now everyone was laughing  
Francis stands up. “ Now we need to discuss something that is actually important what are we going to do for the talent show next Friday?”

Ludwig Took this opportunity to stand up and walk away giving his brother a rarely seen smile of acceptance before leaving the room. Gilberts that back in his chair and relaxed as Francis and Antonio through ideas back-and-forth to each other about the talent show he was happy that nothing had to change between him and his friends and his brother but he still feels this annoying pain in his heart. He knew what he needed to do. He had to tell Mathew how sorry he is.

 

-Monday after the Biology test-

Gilbert is sitting in front of his teacher. He begged the teacher to grade his test right away and since Gilbert went to tutoring like the teacher made him he agreed. It seemed like forever but the teacher finally help up Gilbert’s paper with a large B+ on the front. 

“Mein Gott!!” The silver haired boy grabbed the test and thanked his teacher before running out of a the room his heart racing as he passed people in the halls he had to find Mathew. Being tutored by him was the only reason Gilbert had passed this test and he knew that. 

Carlos and Tim see Gilbert racing by and try to wave him down but they are ignored. I have absolutely no time for assholes like that. Gilbert thinks to himself as he gives them a passing glare. Then at the end of the hallway getting his books out of his locker Gilberts fiery red orbs fell on him. “Mathew!”

The blond turns his head making a stray piece of hair bounce in front of his face. He looked so surprised to see Gilbert racing towards him in the crowded hallway. That adorable face made Gilbert smile as he reached the blonde. 

“Is Everything okay G-Gilbert?”

“Hell yeah Birdie I am awesome!” Gilbert held up the paper showing off his passing grade. Matthew looked over the paper and his face lit up.

“Oh my gosh Gilbert that is amazing, congratulations.” Matthew said with a smile.

This made Gilbert feel warm inside. However this feeling only lasted for a moment. The events that happened in the library played over and over in his head and it reminded him just how shitty of a person he was and how Matthew didn’t deserve to be let down like that.

“Um Birdie there something else I need to say.” He looked nervous. What if Matthew wouldn’t forgive him just saying sorry doesn’t seem like enough. 

Matthew looked into Gilbert’s eyes. “Okay what is it?”

“ About yesterday in the library. I am not like those guys not anymore and I’m sorry I wanted to stand up for you, but~”

Matthew cut Gilbert off. “No no please don’t say sorry I understand.” Matthew had that same ashamed look on his face he did in the library. It was as if he didn’t want Gilbert to apologize because he didn’t think he was worth standing up for. This thought crossed Gilberts mind and it hurt. How could Matthew feel like this he was the kindest person Gilbert had ever met. Matthew turned the silver haired bad boy’s life completely around. 

Gilbert wanted to say this to Matthew. But as soon as Gilbert open his mouth to let the blonde know why he was so sorry Carlos and Tim walked up.

“Yo Gilbert How about you ditch the homo and come hang out with us?” Said Tim.

Gilbert turned to face them. “I’m not interested in being around you assholes. So do me a favor and get the hell out of here.” The two guys stare daggers at Gilbert before walking away. Now smiling Gilbert turns back to Matthew happy that he was able to show his Birdie that he would never let someone talk down to him again, however he saw Matthew walking out of the door at the end of the hallway. The blonde walked away as soon as the two guys started talking no doubt because he was worried things would happen just like they did in the library.

Gilbert ached at this thought. Matthew had saved him from himself, made him feel like he wasn’t useless for once. He had to let his Birdie know how he feels. But he knew that at this point a simple confession wouldn’t be enough. And then it hit him.

“ The talent show“

Throughout the rest of the week Gilbert tried his best to avoid Matthew so that he would not risk confessing his feelings before his planned show and thanks to help from Francis and Antonio things look like they just might work out. 

It is now Friday afternoon the last day of school and before classes are officially out for summer break there is the annual talent show. Some kids work all year to perfect their talents however Gilbert has worked as hard as possible for the last four days in hopes of not winning the show but instead winning his Birdies heart. Thankfully Matthew is a good student and would never blow off a “mandatory” school event and even if he decided to be a bit of a rebel today his twin brother performing in the talent show would force him to be there anyway.

The show starts student after student performing a lot of kids showing off their dance moves magic tricks and even in Alfred‘s case his ability to eat 10 big Macs in five minutes. Which was honestly pretty impressive. 

But when the time finally came for Gilbert, Francis and Antonio to take the stage the silver haired boy‘s heart was beating unbelievably fast it wasn’t stage fright no he didn’t care who heard him. It was the fear that Matthew wouldn’t want to hear what he had to say.

The principal announced Gilbert and his friends and they walked on stage. It took a moment searching through the crowd before Gilbert found him sitting a few rows back there as Matthew. The blonde looks away as Gilbert grips the microphone in his hands. A guitar around his shoulder. Francis standing next to him holding his base while Antonio sets behind with his drum set.

Taking a deep breath Gilbert speaks. “Hey I’m sure everyone here knows me pretty well after all I am awesome. Or at least I call myself awesome but to tell the truth until this semester I never really believed it. I thought I was just this worthless, useless idiot that so many people around me said I was. It took me falling in love with someone who believed in me to realize I’m worth believing in. And I know he has a hard time believing in himself and so I want to help him just like he helped me. And hopefully somewhere along the way he just might fall for me almost as hard as I fell for him. Matthew this is for you!” 

Gilbert’s face was bright red when he screamed the last part pointing into the crowd at Matthew he hoped that the fact his Birdies face was as red as a maple leaf was a good sign and if not at least he had not ran out of the auditorium yet. Francis gave Antonio a nod and they both looked to Gilbert as he took a deep breath and started to sing. Looking into Matthews eyes the entire time.

(If you don’t already know the song More than useless by Relient K then now would be a good time to look it up on YouTube just to give it a quick listen.)

 

I feel like  
I would like  
To be somewhere else  
Doing something that matters  
And I'll admit here  
While I sit here  
My mind wastes away  
And my doubts start to gather

What's the purpose?  
It feels worthless  
So unwanted like I've lost all my value  
I can't find it  
Not in the least bit  
And I'm just scared  
So scared that I'll fail You

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all  
And sometimes I wonder why  
Why I'm even here at all  
But then You assure me  
I'm a little more than useless  
And when I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once

 

So I say if I can't  
Do something significant  
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted  
And nothing trivial  
That life can give me will  
Measure up to what might have replaced it  
Too late, look  
My date book  
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone  
And I bet  
That regret  
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

Sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all  
Sometimes I wonder why  
Why I'm even here at all  
But then You assure me  
I'm a little more than useless  
And when I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless  
And I never knew I knew this  
Was gonna be the day  
Gonna be the day that I would do something right  
Do something right for once

I noticed  
I know this  
Week is a symbol of how I use my time  
Resent it  
I spent it  
Convincing myself  
The world's doing just fine  
Without me (without me)  
Doing anything of any consequence  
Without me (without me)  
Showing any sign of ever making sense  
Of my time  
It's my life  
And my right to use it like I should  
Like He would  
For the good  
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless  
And when I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless  
And I never knew I knew this  
Was gonna be the day  
Gonna be the day that I would do something right  
Do something right for once

After the song The auditorium irrupted in cheers. Francis and Antonio took a bow with Gilbert just stared at Matthew while walking off the stage into the crowd Matthew turned his head and ran out. Gilbert chased him but not for long because as soon as they walked out of the doors Matthew stopped and they were alone in the hallway together.

“ Matthew I’m so sorry I should have stood up for you I should have never let you think I was ashamed of you. But I promise if you give me another chance it will be different this time because I’m different Birdie I’m in love with you.”

Matthew stood there quiet staring at Gilbert this made Gilberts heart race and he started to ramble.

“I’m not saying you have to be madly in love with me or anything. It’s just I would really like the chance to take you out on a date or something maybe even be your boyfriend if that is OK.”

Gilbert‘s face was bright red and he was sweating a little Matthew still said nothing but the blonde stepped closer to Gilbert and took his hand looking up at him with a smile now.

“Gilbert I never thought it would be possible for you to be interested in me. I fell for you along time ago when I first saw the person you really were inside. So yes I will give you a chance. I want to give us a chance.”

Gilbert was so happy at this that he couldn’t respond it was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and now anything seemed possible. He held Matthews hand and pulled him closer holding the blonde in his arms. 

“You have my word Matthew I won’t make you regret this.” Gilbert said these words while snuggling his face against the top of Matthews head.

Matthew blushed more, his face against Gilbert’s chest. “ The thought never crossed my mind Gil.”

It is hard to say who kissed who but the two of them stood there in the empty hallway in each others arms. Their lips pressed together and both hearts racing, in that moment neither of them could imagine ever feeling useless again.


End file.
